addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
