I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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