Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
