he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
