I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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