then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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