i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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