You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
