He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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