I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
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my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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