There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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