He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My bed smells like the plague
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
