He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
MIDGETS
????
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
