It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize