it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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