he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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