Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
