Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
