She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I know her cup size but not her name....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
