i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize