As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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