does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
