Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
