if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
