No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
