hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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