You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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