Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
