Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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