my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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