i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it's like heaven, but drunker
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
