I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
