I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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