ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
