...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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