Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your penis caused this!
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