i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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