she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
