I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
