I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
