FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
