she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
