Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
