walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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