I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize