That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
