i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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