I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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