Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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