Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
