Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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