dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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