I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
