You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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