"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
