I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
