As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize