everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This baby is an asshole
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
