Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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