if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize