stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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