Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just pee around me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
