Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
