I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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