You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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